Lisa Marie, se la vie (bleudot) wrote,
Lisa Marie, se la vie

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i don't know what to even write here....

so, i found out from parsons today. i didn't get in. they wrote me a letter basically telling me that there were only 17 seats to fill and that i should try to apply again. what's that all about? alright alright, i know. i applied in june which is a tad late. but, i was soooooo looking forward to getting out of south fla for grad school. it's like i know that i want to do this, i want to go to grad school for graphic design and i want to go ahead and get on with it. but, i also feel like i'm getting older and i'd really be starting my career at 30 if i go to grad school even now. i'm going to still go ahead and apply for grad programs for the spring, that's going to be my new committment. but, i don't know what i'm going to do if i don't get into a program then. it's just driving me crazy. and, i think a lot hangs on the fact that i'm going to a community college, studying at a lower academic level than a university. i really don't know what to do now. i had plans tto move tto ny, a place to stay, ideas of what i wanted to do. i'm just really confused as to what i'mm going to do now. most of the talk going on among my parents and i involve me staying here in miami, getting a full time job and applying for spring. i don't know if i can handle living here even for, god, 5 more months. maybe i just need to go to nyc and get a job while applying for grad school. you know, i just feel like i really need to talk to some graphic design counsoler and just get the fucking straight up facts as to how to get into a grad program.

i have a lot of thinking to do. the good thing from all of this is that my drive to do better and beef up my portfolio is up. way up. i'm really okay to all of you guys out there....i'm just trying to sort out all these gory details.

i need some sleep, it's been a long day.

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